How To Get Away With Murder Recap: Trust No Dad

The episode opens with Oliver racing into a dark classroom to wipe the phone Annalise gave him. Meanwhile, Annalise is getting admitted to jail and her mug shot is still better than any professional photo Ive ever had taken of me. The cops notice her suspicious lack of phone, but dont really follow through on it.

SIX WEEKS EARLIER

Under the looming threat of Franks return, Nate has moved in with Annalise and turned into quite the housewife. He makes her try his nasty-looking green smoothie before breaking the news that he filed a missing persons report for Frank. Shes not happy about this news, and hes pissed that shes not happy because in his experience, that means shes hiding something.

Annalise: We should keep our personal and work lives separate.
Nate: That would have been a really cool idea back when you got me fired from my job TWICE.

At school the Annalise runs into the Dean, who quasi-apologizes for blindsiding her with the whole suspended from teaching thing.

Dean: You insist on making everything a fight.
Annalise: Say that to my FUCKING FACE.

The Dean asks her to keep a low profile until the flyer issue is resolved, the most hilariously nave request that anyone could ask of this woman. Extra unlikely these days, because Annalise has just taken on a high-profile murder case. So, you know, the opposite of what she was supposed to do.

The case: A sleazy, fedora wearing Reddit aficionado who made a habit of doing drugs with escorts and then rating their sexual encounters on his blog. One night his exhibitions went too far, and an escort overdosed. Instead of taking her to a hospital, Toby dumped her behind a dumpster where she died, but not before he got in one last selfie with her inert body. Everything about this man, and this case, is scum.

Meanwhile, Annalise has sent Laurel down to see her father about the Frank situation. All we know about Laurels dad is that he is not a good person which I feel like could describe a wide variety of wrongs. But seeing as how Laurel has been party to not one, but two murder cover-ups, her definition of not good is probably a little more damning than ours.

Bonnie goes to Annalise about pleaing out on their trainwreck of a case. Annalise entertains her request, probably due to Bonnies very unfortunate history with sexual assault. Back at the office, Connor flaunts Aiden’s (Michaelas gay ex-fianc) new engagement in her face because misery loves company. The creep of a defendant pipes in with youre a nine, eight if Im being picky, because lowlife men will always assume their opinion is a cure-all for any ailment. Asher comes to Michaelas defense by claiming her as his boo, right as Bonnie walks in. Bonnies cold dismissal of the whole situation is far less shocking than the fact that Michaela didnt punch Asher in the dick for outing their relationship.

In Miami, Laurel and her father are knee deep in attempted mediation of years of built of resentment. We learn some fun facts about their past that definitely lend credence to the idea that Laurels father is, in her own word, not a good man.

• He left her mother in the midst of a mental health crisis
• He met his new wife a just a month later
• He refused to pay ransom for Laurel when she was KIDNAPPED at 16

So its kind of understandable that, after all of that, Laurel snubs her fathers half-assed apology. She says that unless hes ready to give her what she came for, shes going to head back to Philadelphia.

The prosecutor refuses Annalise a deal, and not just because her client is a literal piece of human waste. All of the DA office is rising up in protest of Annalises years of misconduct by refusing to offer her any plea. At all. Ever. Sure, this may seem wildly unethical and, hey, even illegal, but thats only because it is. Still not sure if this is just a dramatization courtesy of Shonda Rhimes or an accurate depiction of the legal system in Philadelphia.

Wes new girlfriend does fun things like administer health exams after sex, so I already cant stand her. Shes trying to seduce him into celebrating his birthday this year, a day that he hates for more than valid reasons, when Laurel interrupts via phone call. Across the country and still cock blocking like a champ. Thats my girl.

Wes tells Laurel that he knows where she really is and that she shouldnt do anything she doesnt want to do. Totally things that your not boyfriend says to you. She doesnt want to get into it over the phone, as her father has been tapping all her calls.

Wes: Lol what, is your dad some kind of spy?
Laurel: HA HA HA. Wes. Wes with the jokes.

Conveniently, Laurels dad shows up seconds later with a cake and some truly uncalled for, but not wrong, relationship advice. He cites Laurels daddy issues as a reason for her obsession with Frank, a crazy insensitive comment to come from the man who caused them. It turns out he does know where Frank is, and is willing to tell Laurel if she accepts a property transfer from him. The property is probably less of a fun timeshare and more of a shady business dealing, but honestly Id still take it. Laurel, who is clearly more ethical than I, turns him down and kicks him out of her room.

Back in Philadelphia, Bonnie, Oliver and Michaela arrive with bad news: Their client withdrew $200,000 from the bank less than an hour ago. Oliver struggles to relay this information when faced with Nates sweaty, glistening bod, but he manages.

Annalise confronts Toby about the cash, and he comes clean. A previous lawyer is blackmailing him with some horrifying new information: Toby killed a girl, and not the one hes on trial for. Her name was Janie, and in light of this news Annalise kicks everyone off the case but Bonnie.

Poor Janie was an 18-year-old runaway whod been missing since 2012. She turned Toby down and therefore he murdered herthe logic of a sheltered, privileged man whos never had to suffer rejection. He left her body in a broken freezer in an abandoned warehouse, where presumably shes still lying.

Theres not enough liquor in Annalises home to make up for what they just heard, but man do Annalise and Bonnie try to drink through it anyways. Theyre brainstorming ways to possibly solve this unsolvable situation and Bonnie ops for the road less traveled on this show: the truth.

Her reasoning is both pure and self-motivated. Janies mother is still searching for her missing daughter, but more importantly Bonnie sees herself in the victim. She wants to call in an anonymous tip, and when Annalise turns her down she goes home.

While this horrifying confession is taking place, Michaela, Asher, Connor and Oliver are having a night out in Atlantic City. Nothing sounds more fun than going out with the ex you still love, your best friend, and the extra-ass white dude shes banging.

Oliver: Im so happy we can hang out without this being weird.
Connor: My soul is collapsing as we speak but Im glad youre happy.

What Michaela failed to mention earlier is that shed stolen $20,000 from Toby to fund their outing. She puts it all on black in a game of roulette and wins and wins and winsuntil she doesnt. Usually how betting goes. She loses all of it which distracts from Oliver and Connors fighting over a dude who openly wasnt into Asian dudes.

While Michaela and Asher are inside a 24/7 pawn shop attempting to barter back the $20,000 they lost, Connor and Oliver sit outside in the car in a passive silence. Once again instead of standing up for himself, Connor apologizes for something that he didnt do. Oliver tells him he expects better of him and the last part of Connor’s functioning heart crumbles before our very eyes.

Laurel is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call from Frank. He tells her hes not going to fall for any of her voicemails and that Annalise can stop sending hit men after him. Laurel hangs up before Frank says anything else that her father could use against him, but its safe to say that that tidbit was enough to pique his interest.

Back in court, Annalise does what she does best: manipulates the Philadelphia legal system to get her way and low-key arouses everyone in the courtroom while doing it. Thanks to some intel from Nate, who for some reason still has access to police records, Annalise pins the murder of Janie on a man that her defendant interacted with while in county jail. Then she claims that this all could have been dealt with discreetly had the prosecutor entertained her plea deal. In one fell swoop this gladiator of a woman closed one case, framed another woman-beating scumbag for murder, outed the prosecutors entire office for bias, and seemed contrite while doing so. Somebody send her after Trump.

All of this skullduggery got Annalises client three years in jail, a massive win for a man who killed two innocent women. When he deigns to complain about it Annalise full slaps him across the face, something his mother and every woman hes interacted with over the course of his life should have done.

In Miami, Laurel stops by her fathers office with a deal. She signs the property agreement in exchange for Franks location and presumably her fathers silence. His apology round two seems much more sincere and the nave part of me hopes these two can work it out. The part thats been watching this show for the past two years knows better.

Michaela runs into Bonnie while returning her stolen money, and once again any kind of apologies about Asher fall on deaf ears. The more Bonnie denies caring, the more you can tell she actively, viscerally, cares about this.

After another unanswered phone call to Laurel, Meggy confronts Wes about his very obvious feelings for Laurel. He denies them, and while neither the audience nor Meggy believed him, everybody pretended anyways. Team Waurel 2016.

Laurel returns to Annalises office and makes what will no doubt be a crippling decision in the long run: lying about Frank. She tells Annalise and Bonnie that her dad wouldnt give up Franks location unless she signed her soul away (true) and that she just couldnt do it this time (false). Do either Annalise or Bonnie believe her? Definitely not, but thats a problem for another day.

Annalise: Dads suck.
Laurel: Preach.
Bonnie: Don’t you two even fucking start.

Six weeks later, Annalise has finished being booked into jail. We discover our next non-victim, Bonnie, who finds Oliver at the crime scene and asks if he dealt with the phone. While Bonnie tries to get information out of the cops and Oliver plants Annalises now clean phone under the ambulance, an announcement comes in: another person was found inside the burning house, and theyre alive.

If the person in the bodybag is anyone but Frank or Nate, there will not be enough vodka in Annalises home to soothe my tears.